


Disconnected

by bjfic_archivist



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Angst, Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-10-09
Updated: 2003-10-11
Packaged: 2018-12-26 22:33:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 16,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12068316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjfic_archivist/pseuds/bjfic_archivist
Summary: An alternate season four.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

The diner was busier than usual. A group of young twinks sat by the door, making as much noise as possible. A smaller group of middle-aged bears sat towards the back, laughing heartily and talking amongst themselves. 

At their usual table -- Brian, Debbie, Justin and Michael all explained what they had done the night before (Michael had spent the evening cuddling with Ben, watching America's Funniest Home Videos. Debbie and her Private Dick had gone to a fancy restaurant -- complete with fucking. Brian and Justin had fucked all night -- in various positions, they might add.)

Emmett heard none of it. Instead, all he could think about was Ted, who was getting out of rehab the next day. 

Over the past month, he had been tempted to go see his ex-boyfriend, who he was still in love with, but had always backed down. Instead, he heard about Ted through the others. According to them, Ted asked about Emmett constantly, which satisfied him a little. 

"Hey, earth to Emmett," Debbie said with a laugh. 

Brian obnoxiously began snapping his fingers in Emmett's face, which caused Justin to giggle and snuggle even closer to his lover.

Emmett swatted Brian's hand away and rolled his eyes. 

Debbie shook her head when Brian turned his attention to Justin and licked at his cheek. "What can I get you, Em?" she asked, pen poised.

"Nothing for me, thanks."

Brian groaned. "Oh, come on, Honeycutt. Don't tell me you're going to be a little pussy forever. If you ask me, Ted Schmidt isn't worth it, so get over it already." 

"Well, nobody asked you," Emmett shot back, which surprised everyone at the table. "Sorry," he apologized as he stared down at the table. "I'll have some toast," he mumbled.

Debbie sighed and watched Emmett for a second more before writing down his order. "Coming right up," she said before walking away, but not before yelling, "Sunshine, get your tongue out of Brian's mouth and get your ass back here. You're on the clock."

Justin sighed before looking at Brian. "I gotta go."

"What a shame," Brian replied.

Michael rolled his eyes as Brian and Justin twisted their tongues together. "Gross." 

Emmett snuck a look at the kissing couple and his heart sank. Just seeing Brian and Justin acting all lovey-dovey made his heart sink. 

Justin finally pulled away and stood up to go finish his work. "Later."

Brian watched after him, not bothering to be discreet as he checked out the blonde's ass. 

"Brian, can you stop looking at Justin's ass long enough to answer the question I asked you ten minutes ago," Michael whined.

Brian looked at Michael and smirked. "No, I won't baby-sit Hunter on Saturday."

Michael rolled his eyes. "You know, your little 'Hunter is my kid' jokes are getting a little old."

Brian laughed. "I think they're pretty damn funny."

"Brian, be serious," Michael insisted. "I didn't ask you to --- baby-sit Hunter. He's just staying with us until he gets his feet on the ground, you know that." A few weeks ago, Hunter's mother had finally agreed, for some reason, to allow Hunter to stay with Ben and Michael. "I wanted to know if you wanted to do something on Saturday. We never do anything anymore." 

"Sorry, can't," Brian answered as he pretended to scan his newspaper. "Justin and I were planning on staying in and fucking all night."

"That's all you ever do," Michael whined. 

"Stay home with Ben and fuck all night while Hunter watches," Brian said, "that could be fun."

"Fuck you," Michael snapped.

"Look, can we -please- talk about something else?" Emmett asked impatiently.

Brian and Michael looked at Emmett with a frown. "Em?" Michael asked. "What's wrong?"

"What's wrong is that --- everyday is the same old thing. Justin and Brian make out and brag about fucking and you get jealous and bitchy, even though you have a man that treats you like gold, and loves you, at home, and it's getting ridiculous. Grow up, both of you. You people don't realize how lucky you are and that there's more - fucking - important things in this world." Emmett stood up. As he began speaking again, his voice was unsteady. "Teddy is in rehab. He's getting out tomorrow." He opened his mouth to say more, but, instead, he walked out of the diner, letting the door fall shut behind him. 

Michael turned back to Brian, a sad look on his face. 

"He wants us to feel sorry for Ted?" Brian asked. "Ted brought everything on to himself."

"Brian," Michael warned. "That's not true."

"I got an idea -- Instead of us feeling sorry for poor, old Ted," Brian began, "feel sorry for me. I'm the one who lost everything. Look at it this way -- Ted never really had anything to begin with. Drugs did him a favor."

Michael sighed before standing up and throwing some money onto the table. "You know, Brian, you can be a real dick head sometimes." He turned and left the diner, hoping he could catch up to Emmett in time.

 

\---

 

Ted zipped up his suitcase before taking a step back. He looked around the room that had been his home for the past thirty days and sighed. A part of him was happy to be going home, to get out of this place and back to more familiar things. Another part, perhaps the bigger part, was terrified of going back to the familiar things. 

There was a soft knock on his door followed by, "Hey."

Ted turned around and smiled softly when he spotted Blake. "Hey." 

Blake stepped into the room and eyed the two suitcases. "All packed up for tomorrow?"

"Yep," Ted answered before shoving his hands into his pockets. "All packed and ready to go."

Blake smiled before looking away. 

"Actually, I'm not ready to go," Ted admitted, "I'm terrified."

"That's normal," Blake admitted. He then smiled, "but you'll be fine. Just remember everything we talked about."

Ted nodded before shuffling his feet. "Look, Blake, in case I forgot to say it before -- I'm really proud of you."

Blake smiled. "I'm proud of you too, Teddy."

Ted's heart ached at the sound of the nickname that Emmett used so frequently. He pushed thoughts of Emmett away and smiled. "Thanks."

Reluctantly, Blake stepped forward and hugged Ted. "I'm glad we're friends, Ted." He then pulled away. "It means a lot to me."

Ted stared into Blake's eyes, eyes that he had once loved so much, and said, "It means a lot to me too, Blake," he admitted. Before he knew what was happening, Blake's lips were on his, soft and moist. Instinctually, he kissed back lightly before pulling away and touching his forehead to Blake's. 

"I should go," Blake said as he took a step back. "I have a meeting in a couple of minutes."

Ted nodded as he shoved his hands back into his pockets. "Okay."

Blake looked at him for a while longer before turning and leaving.

Ted stood in the middle of the almost empty room and thought about the kiss that he had just shared with Blake and wondered what it had meant. After a few minutes, he decided to let it be. 

 

\----

 

Michael walked into the apartment he shared with Ben and smiled softly when he saw his boyfriend lounging on the couch, with a book laying across his chest. "Hey."

Ben looked up and smiled. "Hey, beautiful." He huffed when Michael fell on top of him and began placing soft kisses on his neck. "Miss me?"

"Always," Michael answered as he pulled back and smiled. "Hunter went out with a friend he met the other day."

"How'd he do at work?"

Michael laughed. About a week ago, he had agreed to let Hunter help out around the comic book store to earn some sort of a living for the time being. "He still needs a little work."

Ben smiled before pulling Michael down and kissing him.

"Mmm," Michael moaned into Ben's mouth. "You know --- Hunter may be gone for a while."

Ben smiled. "We haven't had the house to ourselves for a while."

"I know," Michael said with a grin before leaning down and kissing Ben again. Soon, their limbs were tangled together and their clothes were thrown on the floor as they both intended to take advantage of the situation.

 

\---

 

"Fuck me," Justin cried out as Brian continued to pound in and out of him. 

"You feel so fucking good," Brian whispered into Justin's ear as he continued pressing Justin harder against the wall that they had decided to fuck against.

"I love you," Justin moaned just before his load spurted against the wall.

Brian rode his own orgasm out as Justin lightly kissed his arm. With a groan, he pulled out of Justin and pressed his forehead against the younger man's back. "Fuck."

Justin turned around in Brian's arms and smiled. "You amaze me every time, you know that?" 

"I figured it," Brian said with a smirk before kissing the tip of Justin's nose; a gesture that surprised even him. Quickly, he pulled away and began walking towards the kitchen. "You hungry?"

Justin couldn't help the disappointment that weighed his heart. "No," he answered before walking to the couch and plopping down. He pulled a pillow over his softening cock and closed his eyes. "What was wrong with Emmett earlier?" he wondered out loud. 

"Who the fuck knows," Brian said as he began rummaging through the fridge. "He's been a drag for the past month. He's starting to remind me of Ted."

Justin's eyes shot open and he sat up. "Oh, that's right! Ted gets out tomorrow, doesn't he?"

"Unfortunately," Brian answered before slamming the fridge door shut. "Fuck, there's nothing to eat. Pretty soon we're going to be homeless. I'm barely paying the rent now."

Justin sighed before standing up and walking to his lover. He wrapped his arms around Brian's neck and kissed his chin. "We'll be fine. You have money saved up and I'm working at the diner." 

"Pretty soon - it's not going to be enough," Brian reasoned. "Fuck," he whispered as he pressed his forehead to Justin's.

"Brian, you're brilliant. I'm sure you'll have no trouble finding another job."

Brian pulled away from Justin's embrace and paced to the other side of the loft.

Justin laughed as he turned around and eyed him. "You know, you could always see if Michael will hire you at the comic store. You and Hunter can be coworkers."

"Fuck you," Brian said goodheartedly before picking a pillow up and throwing it at Justin. 

Justin caught the pillow and laughed harder. "Come on. Let's go to Deb's."

Brian frowned. "Why?" 

"Well," Justin began to explain. "She has food. We don't."

Brian sighed and began rubbing his eyes while Justin went in search of his clothes. "Good point."

 

\---

 

The first thing Ted did after walking into his apartment was check his answering machine; it was nothing but bill collector's and sale's people -- he figured.

Michael and Ben stood in the background, not knowing what to say. 

"So," Michael began.

Ted turned around and smiled at his best friend. "Feels good to be home."

"If you want, we can leave you alone and come back later to take you to Deb's. She's cooking your favorite -- lasagna," Ben explained.

"No, that's okay," Ted assured. "I've had enough of being alone."

The room grew silent with tension once again.

Ted turned his attention away from Ben and Michael and looked around the room. Everything seemed to still be in place; including one of Emmett's shirts. His heart sank and his throat grew tight as he remembered the day. Emmett, who wasn't exactly the cleanest person, had left a shirt on the floor one morning. Ted, being the overly anal one, had started wailing on him, starting a huge fight that had eventually ended in a fit of passion right on the couch.

"Ted?" Michael asked when he saw that his friend had spaced out. 

"What? Oh, I'm sorry," Ted said, with a nervous laugh. 

"You okay?" asked Ben.

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine. Looks, guys, maybe it's best if you two do leave for a while. I should maybe get some rest. It's been a long --- month." 

Ben nodded, secretly happy, while Michael hugged Ted. "I'm glad you're back," he said. He pulled away and cupped Ted's face in his hands. "If you ever need anything -- don't hesitate to call me."

Ted smiled. "Thank you, Michael." 

Michael smiled before kissing Ted on the forehead.

"See you, Ted," Ben said as he held the door open for Michael.

"See ya," Ted replied. And then, he was alone. Again. Slowly, he turned his attention back to the orange sheer top and stared. 

 

\---

 

"Why did we have to come here tonight? We were just here for dinner last night," Brian whined as Justin dragged him up the steps to Debbie's house.

Justin turned towards his lover and laughed. "Because -- Ted is back and we're celebrating."

"I'd rather be at home -- fucking you," Brian replied as he pulled Justin into his arms. 

"I'd rather be at home fucking you too, but Ted's our friend and we have to be here," Justin assured.

"Christ, the guy hates my guts. Why should I waste a perfectly good evening faking smiles and offering Ted my false congratulations. If you ask me, he'll probably be using again before the night's end." 

"Hey," Ted said.

Justin and Brian looked towards the door to realize that it was open. "Hey, Ted," Justin said with a grin.

Ted glared at Brian before looking at Justin. "Hey, Justin. Come on in. Join the party," he said unenthusiastically.

"Why the glum tone, Ted? I thought for sure that you'd be at least a little out of character for your big night," Brian said. 

"Fuck you," Ted spat.

"Hey, I hope I didn't miss too much."

Everyone standing on Debbie and Vic's stoop turned around to see that Emmett had arrived, dressed in fluorescent blue pants and a fur coat, complete with a striped beanie cap. The only thing missing was his bright smile.

"Great. The gang's all here. Let's get this night over with then," Brian said before brushing past Ted and entering the house.

Justin shot Ted an apologetic look before following Brian, leaving Ted and Emmett alone for the first time in a month. 

"Hey," Ted said.

"Hey," Emmett replied back before dropping his eyes to the ground. 

"I didn't expect you to be here. In fact, Debbie said you weren't going to be here."

"Yeah, well, I changed my mind," Emmett said. He looked up at Ted, his eyes glazed over with unshed tears. 

"I missed you," Ted said before even realizing it. "I was hoping you'd come see me."

"Yeah, well, usually we don't get what we want." 

Ted nodded before looking at the ground. "I know I hurt you, Em, and -- I regret that more than anything." He looked back up. "As your boyfriend, I hurt you and I didn't expect you to show up. But --- as my best friend, I expected at least a phone call or a letter."

Emmett blinked back tears. "Yeah, well, Teddy -- you hurt me as a best friend too." 

Just then, Debbie appeared in the doorway, her face bright. When she spotted Emmett, her smile fell. "Emmett, I thought you said you weren't coming?"

"Actually," Emmett began as he pulled his fur coat tighter around him, "I just stopped by to say hey. I'm heading over to, um, the grocery store. I have a half off coupon that expires tomorrow -- so."

Ted watched as Emmett slowly turned and retreated back down the steps. "Emmett," he called out.

Emmett turned around. 

"I -- I still love you." 

Emmett's face crumbled and he looked away. Finally, he said, "I love you too, Teddy. But, sometimes, love just isn't enough." With that, he turned and continued down the sidewalk. 

 

\----

 

As Justin was filling his glass with ice, an arm wrapped around his neck from behind and a bread stick was shoved in his face.

"Bread stick?" Brian whispered against his ear. He then watched as Justin's soft, pink tongue snaked out and teased the tip of it, which made his cock pulse.

Justin laughed before turning around. He was pressed back against the counter. "Doesn't your mind ever focus on anything other than sex."

Brian leaned forward until his lips were mere centimeters from Justin's. "Nope," he whispered. 

"Brian, stop fucking Justin against the counter and give me the fucking parmesan cheese. Christ!" Debbie yelled from the living room.

"Keep your fucking pants on," Brian yelled back, "literally." 

Debbie waved him off before turning her attention back to Ted. "So, did you meet anyone cute in there?"

"Christ, Ma! It's a rehabilitation center, not a whore house," Michael whined.

Everyone, including Ted and excluding Brian, laughed.  "Well, actually --- Blake was there. He's a counselor now."

"Talk about irony," Brian said as he shoved rigatoni into his mouth.

Justin leaned against him and laughed when Brian playfully pushed him away.

"Blake? You're kidding me!" Michael said.

"So, what happened?" Melanie asked. 

"Did you two fuck on your twin bed?" Brian asked. 

"No, we didn't fuck," Ted spat out. "We --- talked."

"Bor-ring," Brian said.

"Christ, Brian, shut up," Melanie said. 

"So, you two just -- talked?" Justin asked. "About what?" He ignored the look Brian gave him. 

"About -- everything. He's completely cleaned up and he's been volunteering at the center for a couple of months."

"Good for him!" Debbie exclaimed. 

"Yeah -- I liked Blake," Lindsay said. 

The room grew quiet. "How's, um, Emmett been doing?" Ted decided to ask. 

"Well, if you want to know if he's been miserable, the answer's fucking yes. The fucking guy is a drag," Brian explained. "Personally, I think it's a waste of time. He can do a lot better than you."

"God!"

"Jesus, Brian, do you always have to be such a prick?" 

"You are what you eat," Debbie said. 

 

\---

 

Later that night, Brian opened the door to the loft and laughed in spite of himself when Justin hopped up onto his back and wrapped his legs around his waist. "You trying to break my back?" he asked as he stammered across the room with the young man on him.

"Well, that won't be too hard in your old age."

"Fuck you," Brian teased.

"Not now. I'm sleep-py," Justin taunted as he pressed his cheek to Brian's shoulder blade. When Brian finally made it to the bedroom, Justin dropped off of him and then crawled into the bed fully clothed. He buried his head into the pillow and sighed heavily, already half asleep.

Brian smiled softly at the image before his eyes caught sight of the way Justin's red shirt rode up over his back, exposing soft skin. His cock twitched and he contemplated waking his lover up to fuck the shit out of him. Instead, he headed towards the kitchen to retrieve a bottle of water. 

A blinking light caught his eye and he backtracked to his answering machine and pressed the button.

"Brian, this is Michael. Pick up." Silence. "Well, you better stop fucking Justin long enough to come to Ted's party tonight."

Brian rolled his eyes as he deleted the earlier message and went on to the next. A voice from the past came on his machine.

"Brian, hey. This is Adam Lyons. Remember we met back a while ago and I offered you a job in New York? Well, I know it didn't go so well last time but -- they're looking for someone now -someone good- and your name came up in a meeting. We want you, Brian, in New York. You can get back to me at 555-0968, or I'll try you again. Okay? Bye."

Brian mindlessly pressed save on the machine and stood frozen as his mind registered what he had been offered; a chance to go to New York and start his life, his career, over. Several moments later, he was laying in bed, watching as Justin's back rose and fell against the material of his red tee-shirt as he slept. 

He had every reason of going to New York, but only one to stay.

With a frustrated sigh, he turned on his back and stared through the darkness until, finally, sleep came over him.


	2. Disconnected

A few days later, Emmett stood in front of Ted's door and stared at it. Finally, he lifted a fist and knocked lightly; a part of him hoping that Ted wouldn't hear it and he'd be free from his own self conscious.

Emmett's hopes were shattered seconds later when Ted opened the door, wearing a burgundy robe and holding a mug of coffee. "Emmett," Ted said, looking genuinely surprised.

"Hey ... Teddy," Emmett replied. "Can I come in?"

Ted nodded and quickly stepped to the side. "Sure, yeah. Come on in."

Emmett forced a small smile before brushing past Ted. He ignored the feeling in his stomach when their arms brushed against one another. "I love what you done with the place," he said, even though the apartment looked exactly the same; neat and spotless.

"Sorry about the mess," Ted said nervously as he placed his coffee mug on a coaster and scooped up a bowl of cereal. "I haven't had time to clean."

"I wish my apartment was this messy," Emmett said before turning. He watched as Ted washed out his bowl. "Teddy, we need to talk."

Ted's actions slowed for a second before he turned off the water. He slowly turned around and eyed Emmett. "I figured."

"You hurt me, Teddy, in ways you'll never know," Emmett began, his voice wavering. "A part of me had promised myself that I'd never forgive you."

Ted nodded slowly, understanding. "Emmett-"

Emmett held up a hand. "Let me finish -- please."

Ted nodded and remained silent.

"Something you said the other night, at Deb's, sunk in. You said that I, as your best friend, should have showed up. I should have called, no matter how much you hurt me, because that's how best friends are -- that's what they do. And, above anything else, Teddy, you're my best friend in the whole world."

Ted let out a relieved sigh. "Em-"

"Teddy, please," Emmett pleaded. "We can't go back. Too many things were said and done to go back," he paused, "but I'm always going to be your best friend -- and once upon a time, I promised myself that whatever happened between us as lovers, we'd always go back to being friends."

Ted smiled, his eyes cloudy with unshed tears. 

"So, that's what I want to do. I want us to be friends. I want us to start over -- fresh and new."

Ted nodded. "It's more than I deserve. God, Emmett --- you're more than I deserve and I never, ever meant to hurt you."

Emmett looked down at the floor. 

Ted stepped closer and cupped a hand around Emmett's cheek. "I hate myself for what I did to you, Em, and if you had come here today and never wanted to speak to me again, I wouldn't have blamed you."

Emmett lifted his eyes to Ted's and smiled softly through his tears. "I could never do that, Teddy."

Ted smiled through his own tears as his thumb massaged Emmett's cheekbone. He then pulled the other man into a tight embrace.

They stood in the middle of Ted's living room for what seemed like hours, holding on to each other for dear life.

 

\---

 

The next day, at the diner, Michael sat across from Brian, a scowl on his face. "You're moving to New York?"

Brian sighed. "I don't know yet," he replied. "I said I was contemplating it."

"But," Michael began, "you can't leave. What about your friends -- what about me?"

"Look, Mikey, I have to think about me right now -- not about everyone else."

"What else is new?" Debbie asked as she walked up to their table, notepad and pen in hand. "What can I get you boys?"

"You can give Brian a slap on the back of the head," Michael whined.

Brian shot him an amused look before looking at Debbie. "I got offered a job in New York -- again."

"Oh, honey, that's great!" Debbie exclaimed.

"What? That's great?" Michael asked. "How is that great?"

"Aw, don't worry, Mikey. We'll still be the best of friends," Brian said with a cheesy, fake grin. He then turned serious. "I need a job. My money is running out fast. There's nothing for me here anymore."

Michael scowled even deeper. "What about your home?"

"I'll be out on the street in weeks if I don't do something."

"What about your friends?"

"I'll get new ones," Brian teased. "New York's a big city."

"What about Justin?" Debbie asked, which made Michael scowl even harder.

"What about me?" Justin asked as he came walking over. 

"Nothing," Brian quickly said, "we were making plans to go to Babylon tonight and Debbie here wanted to know what you were going to be doing."

Justin laughed. "Deb, if you're going to ask me to play Scrabble with you and Vic tonight -- sorry. I have plans with Daph. I promised her I'd go to a straight club with her tonight." He made a face.

"Sounds like fun," Brian said solemnly. He then watched as Justin went back to work behind the counter. He focused his attention on Deb and Michael and sighed at the look on their faces. "He doesn't know about the job offer yet."

Debbie placed her hands on her hips. "When were you planning on telling him?"

"Soon."

"Right."

Michael rolled his eyes as he stood up. "Well, I'm off to work. I'd rather not stay and hear about how all of this is going to affect poor, little Justin."

"Bye, honey!" Debbie called out cheerfully to her disgruntled son. She then looked at Brian before sliding into the seat across from him. "Brian, that kid loves you. He deserves to know what your plans are."

Brian sighed as he continued to mindlessly toy with his fork.

"What are you going to do?"

"I'm going to go," he said matter-of-factly.

"No," Debbie sighed, "what are you going to do about Sunshine?"

Brian turned his attention to Justin and watched as the boy flirted with a young, handsome customer. "He'll be fine without me."

Debbie sighed. Just then, someone called her from the kitchen. She stood up. "Well, whatever you do, Brian, I hope you think it through and do it right. I'm not sure that kid can handle too much more." She went on her way, leaving Brian with his thoughts as he continued to watch Justin.

 

\---

 

Ben and Hunter looked up from the kitchen table when Michael came into the apartment. "Hey," Ben said. "Grab a seat. We were waiting for you. Hunter made spaghetti."

"I tried," Hunter emphasized. "He made the salad."

"We got a couple of movies to watch later on."

"Matrix 2 and Analyze This," Hunter said as he scooped more food into his mouth.

"We were gonna get The Pianist, but we figured it would be too depressing."

Michael huffed as he took off his jacket and draped it over the back of the couch. "I'm not hungry," he said flatly, "and I don't feel like watching movies. I'm going to bed."

Ben slowly lowered his fork while Hunter kept on eating. "What happened? What's wrong?

"What doesn't go wrong in my life?" Michael wondered. He then sighed. "Brian's thinking of moving to New York."

"Good for him," Hunter said. "Anyone would be smart to leave this fucking town."

Ben ignored Hunter as he stared at Michael. 

"I mean -- why would he want to leave? This is his home. He belongs here, not in New York!"

"Dude, calm down," Hunter said. "It's not like you two are married, or something. Besides, you still have us," he added sarcastically.

Ben looked away from Michael and stared down at his food that he and Hunter had worked hard on. Slowly, he stood up and left the room, leaving Hunter and Michael watching after him curiously.

 

\----

 

Justin walked into the loft and closed the door behind him. He smiled when he spotted Brian sitting in front of the computer. "Hey," he said as he took his shirt off.

"Hey," Brian answered flatly, not bothering to look away from the screen. "Our Internet got shut off today." 

Justin sighed as he wrapped his arms around Brian's neck. "No big deal. I was beginning to get bored with it anyhow."

Brian sighed and rested his head back against Justin's chest. "Know anybody who would want to buy a computer?" 

"No," Justin answered. "Maybe I could start hustling. You can be my pimp."

"I already thought of that," Brian teased. "It would never work. I'd end up fucking all the clients."

"You're such a romantic." Justin leaned down and pressed a kiss to the tip of Brian's nose. "Come on," he said. "I brought some food home from the diner." He pulled away from Brian and made his way to the kitchen, styrofoam container in hand. 

Brian reluctantly got up and followed Justin to the kitchen. He watched as the blonde split the bowl of noodles up. 

"It's not much, but-" Justin said. "It's something."

Brian continued to watch him. He stood up and walked over to him. He surprised both of them when he grabbed Justin's arm and pulled the other man to him. 

Justin sunk into Brian's arms and sighed when Brian's large hand began massaging the back of his head. "What's this for?" he asked. 

Brian pulled away and stared down into Justin's blue eyes. It was on the tip of his tongue to tell Justin about the job offer, but, instead, he said, "Just because."

The answer caused Justin to smile and he leaned forward to kiss Brian softly on the lips. Soon, the kiss turned passionate and they were making their way towards the bed, leaving their clothes scattered behind them and their food forgotten on the counter.

 

\---

 

"Ben," Michael said as he stood in the doorway of the bedroom he shared with Ben. "What's wrong?"

Ben looked up, his eyes flashing with anger. "What's wrong?" He stood up. "How could you possibly ask me what's wrong?"

Michael's eyes grew wide and he opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out.

"Hunter and I spent two hours in that fucking kitchen tonight trying to make everything perfect. We even rented two movies that you wanted to see-"

"I actually already saw Matrix 2-" Michael said.

Ben's face grew hard. "Let me guess -- with Brian?"

"Ben-"

"I'm sick of this, Michael. I'm sick of always living in Brian Kinney's shadow."

"What are you talking about?" 

"He has you wrapped around his little finger and you fall for it every time! Some times -- some times I think that maybe you're just with me until one day he might love you back the way you love him." 

The room grew silent as Ben's words hung in the air.

"He -- he's my best friend."

"Is that all?" Ben asked. "Is that really all he is, Michael?" 

"Yes!"

Ben shook his head and turned his back on Michael. "You know, Michael, nobody is forcing you to be here." 

"This -- this is my apartment," Michael said softly before even realizing what he was saying.

Ben laughed lightly, airily. "You're right," he said. "I'll leave." He then stormed out of the room before Michael could say anything more. 

 

\---

 

The next day, Ted strolled into the boutique where Emmett worked. He spotted him immediately and smiled softly as he watched him work. He had always admired how much Emmett loved his job and how well he did it. Today, he was adoringly putting flourescent colored briefs on the very well-endowed male mannequins. 

Emmett looked up and spotted Ted, looking somewhat surprised. He stood up. "Ted."

Ted smiled softly, nervously, as he made his way towards him. "Hey. I hope it's okay that I'm here ... I was in the neighborhood."

"Yeah. Yeah, it's fine. You know it is," Emmett assured. "I'm just -- surprised." 

Ted nodded. "I, um, was wondering if maybe you wanted to -- go get something to eat on your lunch break. You know -- sort of a starting off point."

Emmett smiled, genuinely touched by the gesture. "I'd love to, Teddy." 

Ted smiled back.

\---

 

Justin's hands fisted the sheets even tighter and he groaned into the pillow as Brian's tongue continued to lick his asshole. 

Brian smiled as he dragged his tongue up the crevice of Justin's back. He sprawled out on top of the smaller man and began placing kisses along the back of his neck. "I'm glad you cut your hair."

Justin smiled as he shivered from his orgasm. Earlier that day, he had decided to get rid of his long locks for the shorter, spikier 'do that he had once sported. "Really."

"Really," Brian replied. 

Justin turned around in Brian's arms and kissed him fully on the lips. "I thought you liked having something to hold on to."

Brian pulled away from Justin's mouth and smiled slyly. "I still have something to hold on to," he said as he reached around and cupped Justin's butt in his strong hands.

Justin giggled before leaning in for another kiss. Coincidentally, his cock began to spring to attention once more. 

Brian began kissing his way down Justin's body before dropping to his knees. He sucked Justin's cock into his mouth.

Justin's eyes closed and his head thumped back against the wall. He laced his fingers through Brian's hair and guided him. "Fuck." 

Just then, the phone rang and the machine picked up.

"Brian, Adam Lyons again. It's been a few days and I was wondering what your decision was. I'd appreciate it if you could get back to me as soon as possible. The position is still yours if you want it." 

Justin's eyes shot open when he heard the message and he stared down at Brian, who was slowly pulling his mouth away from his cock. "What was that about?" he asked. 

Brian sighed before standing. "Nothing." He walked away from Justin, intent on walking away from his questions as well.

"Nothing? It didn't sound like nothing," Justin said. "Who's Adam Lyons? What job is it for?"

Brian turned around suddenly. "Why the fuck do you always ask so many God-damned questions?" he asked, his voice hard. "It's none of your fucking business, so drop it." 

Justin was stung by the sudden change in Brian's mood. "Brian, you need this job. If you got a job offer, you should take it." He walked over to Brian and cupped a hand around his cheek. "What's there to think about?" 

Brian stared into Justin's eyes for a long time before pulling the younger man's hand away from his face. "I'm planning on taking it," he finally answered.

"Why didn't you tell me about it?" Justin asked as he watched Brian walk away from him. "This is huge, Bri."

Brian remained silent as he pulled a bottled water from the fridge. 

"Brian?"

Brian guzzled down the water.

"Brian, would you talk to me? Why didn't you tell me?"

Brian turned around, his eyes flashing. "The job is in New York, okay?" he finally answered. He watched as Justin's face melted. "The fucking job is in New York and I didn't want to tell you yet because I didn't want to hear your mouth."

Justin's heart dropped. "You're moving to New York?"

"Yes," Brian admitted. "I'm moving to New York to get away from this fucking town. To get away from everything."

"To get away from me?" Justin asked, his voice wavering. "When were you going to tell me? Were you just going to pack up and leave?" 

"It was a thought."

Justin shook his head slowly, his eyes clouding over with unshed tears. "You're a fucking prick," he yelled. "I can't believe you, Brian."

"Hey, you said it yourself," Brian yelled back, "I need this job!"

"You could have told me! Don't I matter?" Justin asked and then laughed. "Of course I don't. Nobody matters but you." 

"I don't have to answer to you," Brian said. "I'm thinking about me. And -- you're right, I'm all that matters." 

Justin stared at him for a while longer before turning around. He hastily began picking up his clothes and putting them on. "Fuck you, Brian," he said. "Fuck -- you." After he was dressed, he left the loft, slamming the door shut behind him.

 

\---

 

"So," Melanie asked as she cradled a cranky Gus against her hip. "Then what happened?"

Emmett looked up at the two lesbians in front of him and admitted to himself that he enjoyed the attention they gave him while he stayed with them. "Well, we went to lunch, he paid. We talked - about everything - and, you know what?" he asked, "For the first time in --- a long time, it wasn't weird."

Lindsay, who was collecting Legos that Gus has strewn across the coffee table, grinned. "Em, that's great!"

"Yeah, it is," Emmett replied with a fake smile.

"So, what?" Melania asked. "You two are just friends?"

"Yeah," Emmett said. "That's all we can be right now."

Lindsay was about to say more, but was interrupted by a knock on the door. "I'll get it," she cooed as she stood up and left the room.

Melanie looked over at Emmett and immediately noticed his change of mood. "Are you okay, Em?"

Emmett looked at her, his fake smile slipping. "Not really," he answered. "I miss him, Mel. So many times today I just wanted to reach over and grab his hand or lean over and kiss him."

"Em," Melanie sighed. "It'll get better, I promise. Like with Melanie and me, when we were apart ... it was horrible. I couldn't sleep at night -- most of the time it was hard to breathe." She watched as Emmett nodded. "But look where we are now," she smiled. "You just have to wait. In the end, it'll be better the second time around." 

"Wow," Emmett breathed.

"What?" Mel asked.

"I just --- didn't have any idea that lesbians were so insightful."

Melanie laughed as she playfully swatted him on the back of the head.

Just then, Lindsay came back into the livingroom with a scowling Justin in tow. "Well, looks like we're having a slumber party," she said.

Justin plopped down on the couch and crossed his arms over his chest.

"What did Brian do now?" Melanie asked, which earned her a death glare from Justin.

\----

 

Later that night, while laying in bed, someone knocked on the door. For a moment, he thought maybe it was Justin coming back. He tore the covers away from himself and made his way through the loft in the dark. 

It was Michael. "Hey."

Brian sighed and leaned lazily against the door jamb. "If you came here tonight to bitch about my going to New York, tell me now so that I can have time to slam the fucking door in your face."

Michael made a face. "I'm not here to talk about that. I'm here to talk about Ben."

"My other most favorite topic of conversation," Brian steered. "Well, come on in," he said sarcastically.

Michael sighed before brushing past Brian. He was taken aback by how empty Brian's place looked. 

"So, talk."

Michael turned and eyed his shirtless best friend. "Ben left -- last night. We had a fight and he never came back. I don't know where he's at. I think I may have ruined it with him."

Brian tilted his head and frowned. Then, he said, "Michael Novotny ruins yet another perfectly good relationship. What --- a surprise!"

Michael frowned. 

Brian placed his hands on Michael's shoulders. "Tell me, Mikey, what did you do this time? Did he tell you you couldn't go out? Did he order a pizza without telling you?"

Michael swatted Brian's hands away. "You're an asshole," he accused. "I didn't do anything. I went home from work last night and was telling him about you and your going to New York."

Brian stared at Michael for a long time before laughing. "Mikey, you are so pathetic."

"What? You think this is funny?" Michael asked. "Fuck you!"

Brian turned around and looked at his best friend. "No, Michael, fuck --- you!"

Michael's face fell and, before Brian could even blink, he was out of the door, slamming it behind him.

Brian stared at the closed door for a long time before turning around and heading back to bed.

\---

 

Ted laid on his couch and stared up at the ceiling, his mind filled with thoughts of Emmett and their nice day together. He hadn't been sure if he would be able to make it; having to watch Emmett smile, that cute little dimple in his left cheek showing. Or when Emmett would laugh, a sound that Ted could listen to forever. Or when Emmett would get excited and clap his hands together rapidly and jump up and down like a little kid. No, he wasn't sure if he could make it, but he had -- barely.

He closed his eyes and let out a deep sigh. Before even realizing it, he had began crying. He rolled over on to his side and curled into a ball and wept like a child -- something that had become common in the past few weeks. 

Just then, the phone rang, and Ted was forced to push his tears away. Weakly, he sat up and reached for the phone, hoping it wasn't his mother to check up on him again. "Hello?"

"Hey --- Ted. It's me, Blake."


	3. Disconnected

"Blake?" Ted asked, clearly susprised.

"Sorry -- I hope it's not too late," Blake stammered. "It's just ... I was up and I couldn't sleep and I thought of you ... "

"You don't have to apologize," Ted assured. "I was awake too. And --- I'm glad you called."

Blake's sigh of relief was filled with static. "Um, look, Ted, I'm going to be honest with you. One thing I teach is that honesty is important and that you should always take risks, no matter how impossible you might think it is, so I'm just going to come right out and say it."

Ted swallowed the lump in his throat. "Okay."

Blake paused for a long time before saying, "I miss you."

Ted closed his eyes and licked his dry lips. "You do?"

"Yes," Blake answered. "I miss being with you. I miss the way you held me after making love. I miss the way you cleaned up after me and bawled me out for it before throwing me on the coffee table and fucking me. I ... I miss looking at your face."

Ted hadn't heard those words in so long. He hadn't felt loved, wanted, in so long. "I miss that too, Blake."

Just as Blake was about to respond, Ted interrupted him.

"You wanna get together tomorrow and ... have some lunch?"

\---

"Comfortable yet?" Emmett asked into the darkness. For the past twenty minutes, Justin laid on the lesbian's living room floor with a sleeping bag, continuously tossing and turning, making as much noise as possible.

Justin sat up with an aggitated sigh before reaching over and switching on the lamp. He then glared at Emmett. "Well, excuse me, Mr-I-get-to-sleep-on-the-couch."

Emmett lifted his sleeping mask up and eyed Justin. "I have a bad back."

"Probably because you're always on it," Justin replied sarcastically. Normally, he got along great with Emmett, but putting together his anger at Brian and Emmett's bitchiness, he was annoyed beyond belief.

"Oh, that was sweet," Emmett said, "did Brian teach you that?"

At the mention of Brian's name, Justin turned off the light and laid back down.

Emmett sighed before propping himself up on an elbow and staring down at the younger man. "What happened?"

"Brian's an asshole."

"Tell me something I don't know," Emmett teased.

"I told you, I don't wanna talk about it."

"Look, sweetie, you knew you were going to get hurt. From the beginning we all told you," Emmett explained in a soft, sweet voice. He felt bad for the kid.

"Like I'd take relationship advice from you," Justin replied. "Your relationship with Ted is for shit."

"You deserve whatever Brian Kinney dishes out for you," Emmett said flatly before dramatically turning over on the couch and throwing the covers over his body. 

\---

The next morning, after cursing everyone in the free world, Brian opened the door to his loft, completely naked save for a pillow that he held over his crotch. "Linds, what brings you to my humble abode?" he asked sarcastically.

Lindsay sighed. Everything she had been planning to say to the man left her mind. She could never stay mad at Brian for very long. "Just thought you'd like to know that a certain blond-haired, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed young man that we all know spent the night on our floor."

"Can you be more specific?"

Lindsay placed her hands on her hips. "This isn't funny, Brian. He was really upset. He wouldn't tell us why, so I thought maybe you knew some of the details, seeing as you're the only person who knows how to make him this upset."

Brian rolled his eyes before walking away from her and towards the kitchen. "Since when isn't the little twink upset?" he asked as he began rummaging through the fridge.

"Go ahead, Bri. Go and make your little snide remarks about the kid, but I, and everyone else in this fucking city, knows that you're in love with the little twink. So, cut the bullshit and tell me what happened."

Brian turned to her and raised an eyebrow. "Okay," he said, finally relenting. "I got a call a few days ago, offering me a job in New York. I'm going to take it." 

Lindsay closed her eyes and let out a deep breath. When she opened them again, she found Brian staring at her. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

"Everyone was going to find out sooner or later," Brian answered. 

Without saying anything, Lindsay walked to Brian and hugged him tightly. Her tears filled with tears. "I'm going to miss you," she whispered, "but I know that you need this." She pulled away and stared into his eyes.

"Hey," Brian said, reaching a hand up and wiping away a tear. "Come on, dykes don't cry."

Lindsay laughed in spite of herself. She stepped away from Brian and wiped at her face. "Okay, so, you're moving to New York. When?"

"Whenever I can."

"Why not take him with you, Brian?" Lindsay asked. "He'd follow you anywhere, you know that."

"I can't take him."

"Why not?"

"Because I can't!" Brian yelled. He then sighed when he noticed the surprised look on Lindsay's face. "He belongs here," he said, his voice softer, "with his friends, his family. School. I can't take him with me."

"He loves you, Brian," Lindsay said. "Let him make that decision."

"I'm not taking him," Brian said after a long pause. "I'm going to New York, without him, without anyone, and starting my life over." 

Lindsay just looked at him, frustration rushing through her. Instead of saying anything, she threw up her arms and then turned and left.

Brian stared at the nothing in particular before reaching out and slamming the refrigerator door shut.

\---

The next morning, Justin wrapped the sleeping bag he had slept in around his body and padded into the kitchen. He found Emmett leaning against the counter gracefully, his lips tentatively sipping at his steaming coffee and his eyes skimming over the Victoria's Secret catalogue.

"Hey," Justin muttered. "Turning straight?"

Emmett looked up, looking wide awake. "No, silly. I'm wondering which one I should get. The red or the black," he said, pointing to a very skimpy lingerie. 

"The black," Justin admitted as he slipped an English muffin into the toaster. "Where's Mel and Linds?"

"Grocery shopping," Emmett said. He then looked up and watched as Justin mindlessly buttered his muffin. "Still not wanting to talk about what happened with Brian?"

Instead of answering, Justin bit into his muffin and went about getting a glass of orange juice.

"I guess that's a no," Emmett huffed before placing the Victoria's Secret to the side and scooping up the newspaper. "Please, please, give me my way, let there be an apartmart in the paper today," he whispered to himself before flipping to the classified ads.

"You're looking for an apartment?" Justin asked as he obnoxiously looked over Emmett's shoulder.

"Well, can't live with the lesbies forever," Emmett admitted. "Oh, here's one!" he exclaimed. "One bedroom apartment. Smokers need not apply. No pets. No roommates, no water bed ... "

"No air," Justin teased as he leaned closer to Emmett and pecked him on the cheek, an offer of a truce from their argument the night before.

Emmett accepted it with a smile before going back to the paper.

"You know," Justin said in-between sipping his orange juice. "If you wouldn't mind a roommate, you can look for two bedrooms."

Emmett turned to look at him dramatically. "What? But ... what about Brian?"

Justin looked down at the spotless kitchen floor. "Well, Brian's moving to New York, so I gotta find somewhere else to live. I can't shack up with Deb for the rest of my life."

Emmett grinned and then jumped up and down, clapping his hands dramatically. "Oh, honey! That would be so fantastic!" He pulled Justin in for a quick hug before turning back to the papers. "Please, please let it be true, there's a great apartment in here for two!"

Justin laughed inspite of himself. His smile then faded as he thought about Brian.

 

\----

Michael sighed into the receiver. Once again, Ben wasn't answering his cell phone. So, again, he left a voice mail.

"Ben, I really, really want to talk to you. Call me back. I miss you. I love you." He hung up and rested his head back on the couch.

"But not as much as Brian," Hunter teased as he came into the living room with a bowl of cereal in hand.

"Fuck off," Michael spat. "You know, you're lucky I don't throw you out onto the street."

Hunter gave him the finger as he chomped on his Fruity Pebbles and stared at the television.

 

\----

 

After lunch, which had been filled with even more talking and reminiscing, Blake walked Ted to his door. "Thanks, Ted."

Ted turned to the younger man and smiled. "Hey, it was my pleasure --- to treat."

Blake smiled before looking down at his shoes. When he looked back up, he found Ted staring at him. Without seconds, their arms were around each other and their lips were locked. He wasn't sure how Ted had managed to unlock and open the door, but, before he knew it, they were on Ted's couch, kissing passionately, their hands everywhere.

"Blake," Ted moaned before kissing at his neck. "Oh, Blake."

Blake arched up against Ted and groaned when he felt Ted cup his hardening penis through his pants. "I missed you," he moaned, "I missed you so much."

Without replying, Ted kissed Blake. He was sick of talking, he was sick of holding back. Most of all, he was sick of the pain.

\----

 

"He didn't answer his cell phone again!" Michael explained to Brian over the loud music. "I don't know what to do."

"I know. Stop fucking stalking him. You're getting obsessive," Brian replied sarcastically. "When he's done sulking, he'll come back."

Michael sighed. "How do you know?"

"Because I fucking do, okay?" Brian answered, looking at him. "They always do," he added in a softer tone. Just then, he spotted Justin through the crowd of half-naked, dancing men. Behind him was Emmett, dressed in sparkly pants and a tube top.

When the two reached them, Justin kept his eyes away from Brian. "Hey," he said to Michael.

"What are you two doing here?" Michael asked, annoyed that his alone time with Brian was shattered now that the young blonde was there.

"We didn't feel like sitting around Mel and Lind's house feeling sorry for ourselves," Emmett explained. "We're here to par-tay!" he said before throwing an arm around Justin's shoulders and pulling him close. 

"And we're also here to celebrate," Justin explained, still ignoring Brian, who was staring at him.

"Celebrate what?" Michael asked. "What's there to celebrate? My best friend's moving to New York and my boyfriend won't speak to me."

"Both of which are oddly connected," Brian retorted.

Breifly, Justin looked at Brian before returning his attention back to Michael. "Emmett and I are going to be roommates."

Emmett grinned. "We're looking for apartments now." He then looked at Justin. "Just think, Sunshine, soon we'll be independent men, not having to rely on other people to take care of us."

Justin smiled before looking at Brian, who looked anything but happy. "Yeah. Can't wait. In fact, I think I'm already starting to feel it." He looked back at Emmett. "Dance with me?"

"Why, Justin, I'd love to," Emmett replied in a poor, Barbra Steisand impression.

Brian watched as Justin tugged Emmett into the crowd of half-naked, dancing men. 

Michael watched and then laughed in spite of himself at the image of Justin and Emmett dancing so seductively. He then looked at Brian and realized the jealousy for what it was and his smile faded. "They always come back, Brian?" he asked. "You sure about that?"

Brian ignored Michael as he continued watching Emmett and Justin. For some reason, he had expected Justin to come back to him, beg him to stay, ask to go with him. 

\---

"I was thinking maybe looking for something with a patio. Can't throw a good party without a patio. Oh!" Emmett exclaimed as he and Justin continued dancing. "Wouldn't it just be a thrill if the dining room had beautiful french doors and a crystal chandelier?"

Justin, who was barely paying attention to Emmett and was busy making sure Brian was watching, just nodded. 

"Have you heard a word I said?" Emmett sighed. He then followed Justin's gaze. "Hm. Sex stud of Pittsburgh. Could he be ... actually jealous?"

Justin looked back at Emmett with a scowl. "Doubtful."

"Look at him. I think his cock might actually be soft for the first time in a long time," Emmett teased. 

"Well, maybe he's a little jealous." 

"Of course," Emmett said. "You're with me."

Justin smiled at Emmett before wrapping his arms around his neck. He noticably pressed himself closer to the other man and pressed his lips to his ear. "Now, what were you saying about a chandelier?"

 

\---

 

The next morning, Ted opened his eyes to blinding sunlight. With a groan, he rolled over onto his side and wrapped an arm around a naked waist. In the back of his mind, he was laying next to Emmett. He finally opened his eyes and was faced with Blake's sleeping face.

A part of him wanted to smile, but didn't. A part wanted to scream, but he wouldn't. Instead, he pulled his arm away and then rolled onto his back.

Blake's eyes fluttered open and he smiled softly at Ted. "'Morning."

"'Morning," Ted replied solemnly.

Blake propped himself up on an elbow. After a long silence, he asked, "Are you okay?"

Ted turned his head and met Blake's stare. "You hungry?"

"That isn't an answer," Blake said as he watched Ted throw the blankets away from himself and stand up.

"Well, I don't have any answers right now," Ted mumbled.

"Ted," Blake pleaded as he reached out and grabbed Ted's hand, preventing him from moving any further. "Don't bottle this up. If you think last night was a mistake, tell me."

Ted looked down at their locked hands before looking at Blake's saddened face. "Last night was ... incredible."

Blake smiled faintly.

"But it shouldn't have happened. I'm not ready for the consequences yet. I wasn't thinking." He pulled his hand from Blake's grasp. "When do I ever think?"

"Ted," Blake began as he sat up. "Look, I don't expect anything from this, okay? I won't expect anything. It was just two men who used to be in love with each other and are now friends finding comfort in each other's arms." 

"That wasn't all we were finding comfort in last night," Ted joked, trying to lighten the mood.

Blake laughed. "You always did make me laugh, Ted."

Ted looked away. After an awkward pause, he asked again, "Hungry?"

"Yeah," Blake answered and then watched as Ted left the bedroom. He sat back against the headboard and sighed heavily.

 

\---

 

After sending his latest trick home, Brian walked to the refridgerator and searched it's contents, which didn't amount to anything but a bottle of ketchup, old eggs and the styrofoam container Justin had brought with him the other night.

Solemnly, he grabbed the container and shut the fridge. 

Without even bothering to heat the noodles up, he sat at his kitchen table and ate mindlessly, thinking about the night before.

After getting fed up with watching Justin and Emmet fawn all over each other and Michael whining about Ben, he had gone into the back room and picked up a man. He had fucked the shit out of the guy and, coincidentally, his mind had been on Justin the entire time.

Breaking him from his thoughts, the door to his loft slid open and Justin walked inside, his hair a wild mess and his eyes sleepy.

"Don't know how to knock?" Brian asked, even though he didn't mean it.

"I just came to get my stuff," Justin answered, barely looking at him.

"You look like shit." Brian said as he watched Justin gather up his scattered clothes.

"Yeah, well, if you had to sleep on the lesbian's floor two nights in a row, you'd look like shit too," Justin answered, still avoiding eye contact.

Brian watched him for a long time before asking, "So, you're getting a place with Emmett?"

Justin finally stopped what he was doing and looked at him. "Yeah. Why do you care anyway? You're going to New York."

Brian didn't say anything. Instead, he stood up. "Find an apartment yet?" he asked.

"No," Justin answered. "but we're going to go apartment-hunting today." He watched as Brian walked towards him and his heart quickened.

"You really wanna live with Emmett?"

"He's a good guy."

"How good?" Brian asked. "Have you fucked him yet?"

Justin frowned.

Brian reached up and cupped a hand around Justin's cheek. "Did you?"

"No," Justin retorted. "It's not like that. We're just friends who both need a place to live."

"Is that all?" Brian asked. "You two looked pretty cozy on the dance floor last night."

Justin stared into Brian's eyes. "Jealous?"

Brian pulled his hand away and snorted. "I don't do jealous. Besides, what does Emmett HoneyCutt have that I should be jealous about."

"A better ass," Justin replied as he turned around to continue gathering his stuff, hiding his smile from Brian as he did so.

"What the fuck ever," Brian mumbled before heading to his shower, half-expecting Justin to follow him. Instead, he washed and rinsed by himself and then walked back out to where Justin was in nothing but a skimpy towel. He discovered, however, that Justin was already gone.


	4. Disconnected

"What do you think?" Jennifer Taylor asked as her son and Emmett mauled over the decision. She wasn't exactly selling a house here, but Justin had wanted her to join them to throw in her ideas.

"I love it," Emmett admitted with an enthusiastic bounce. "It's perfect."

"I don't know," Justin answered as he gave the small, two-bedroom apartment another look-over. "It's kinda ... plain."

"You've said that about the last fifteen apartments we've looked at," Emmett sighed. "Besides, with my personal touches, this house will be beautiful before either of us know it."

Jennifer watched as Justin shot Emmett a look. She had always thought the two had gotten along, but seeing them bickering constantly all day long, she was beginning to think otherwise. "The neighborhood is beautiful, Justin. And, if you hang some of your paintings on the walls, it'll give the space some personality."

"And look at how many windows!" Emmett exclaimed, motioning towards the three large windows that lined one side of the livingroom. The place was laid out pretty much like Ted's, with the kitchen open to the living room.

Justin continued to contemplate it. "Okay," he finally said, "we'll take it."

 

\----

 

Later that night, at the diner, Michael sat at a booth by himself, mindlessly playing with a fork.

Debbie walked over and slid into the booth across from him while she placed a heeping pile of pancakes in front of him. "Eat."

"I'm not hungry."

"Yes, you are. I'm not going to allow you to starve yourself on account of Ben. Now, eat those fucking pancakes before I smack you upside your cute, little head."

Bregrudgedly, Michael dug his fork into his pancakes. "Fine. I'll eat the fucking pancakes."

Debbie watched him take a bite before sighing. "He still hasn't called?"

Michael looked up his mother and swallowed slowly. "Worse. Last night, while Hunter and I were sleeping, he used his key to get in and he took all his stuff. He even left his key on the counter!"

Debbie reached over and placed her hand over her son's, her heart breaking for him. "Oh, honey."

"Am I ruining a moment?" 

Debbie and Michael looked up to find Brian, who was wet from the downpour outside.

"Don't you always?" Deb teased.

Brian slipped out of his trench coat before sliding in next to Michael. 

"Ben moved out," Michael said to his best friend.

"Did you make sure he didn't steal anything?" Brian asked as he casually looked over the newspaper.

"Asshole," Michael retorted.

Debbie rolled her eyes at Brian before looking back at Michael. "We'll talk about this later, honey."

"Okay, ma."

"And I better pick up a clean plate later, or your ass is grass," Debbie yelled before entering the kitchen.

Michael took another bite of his pancakes before looking at Brian. "So," he began. "Both our guys picked up their shit and are gone. What a small world, huh?"

"Good riddance to both of them," Brian muttered, even though his loft seemed so empty without Justin, or his shit.

"So, I hear Emmett and Justin are out apartment hunting," Michael said, knowing just what buttons to push.

Brian looked away from his newspaper and frowned. "Do I look like I give a shit?"

"Do you ever?"

"Look, Emmett and Justin can move in together and play house, or whatever the fuck they're planning on doing. I'm moving to New York and starting my life over. It's better this way."

Michael looked away and sighed. Before he even knew what was happening, he pressed his cheek against Brian's shoulder and began crying for the tenth time that day. "I miss him."

"Don't worry, Michael," Brian said in a teasing voice. "I'm sure Emmett will move back in with you someday."

Michael pulled away. "Not, Emmett, dick head. Ben."

Brian sighed before cupping his hands around Michael's face. "Look at me, Mikey. He isn't worth this. He picked up and left. It's his loss." He then smirked. "You still have me."

"You're leaving for New York," Michael whined.

Brian leaned in and kissed Michael softly on the lips. He could feel Michael itching for more, but he pulled away. "I love you, Mikey. Whether I'm here, or in New York."

Michael smiled faintly. 

"Hey."

Brian and Michael turned their heads to find Justin and Emmett standing next to their table, their hair wet from the rain and their smiles wide. 

"We found an apartment!" Emmett exclaimed, complete with a hop and a clap of his hands.

Brian locked eyes with Justin, unfamiliar with the tight feeling in the pit of his stomach.

 

\---

 

Hunter groaned before getting up off of the couch. "I'm fucking coming!" he yelled. He finally reached the door and opened it to find Ben. He smirked and leaned against the door frame. "Came crawling back?"

"No," Ben answered. "Is Michael home?"

"No. He left about an hour ago. He's at the diner."

"Oh," Ben said. "Can I come in? I forgot to get something."

"I don't know," Hunter answered. "Michael told me I wasn't allowed to have guests."

Ben pushed his way past the boy.

Hunter shut the door before following Ben into Michael's bedroom. "You know, I can get you arrested for breaking and entering."

"Hunter, not now," Ben retorted as he opened a drawer, searching.

"I can't believe you really left," Hunter continued. "I didn't think you'd have the balls."

"Yeah, well," Ben began, "I should have left a long time ago."

"But I thought you guys loved each other. You guys were like the fucking Brady Bunch. Minus the kids."

Ben turned and looked at Hunter. "I loved him. I thought he loved me. I just couldn't compete with Brian Kinney anymore. I deserve more than that." He turned to continue searching and finally found the tee shirt he was looking for.

Hunter followed Ben to the door. "Hey," he called out. "Maybe you should go to the diner and talk to him. He really misses you. Don't let Kinney ruin what you two can have."

Ben frowned.

"I've been watching Full House reruns," Hunter explained. "I'm a little sentimental. Now go fucking talk to him."

Ben eyed Hunter for a second longer before pulling the door closed behind him.

 

\---

 

"It's small."

"But big enough for us."

"It has these beautiful windows ... "

"And french doors that open into the larger bedroom."

"Which I already claimed."

"The bathroom is small, but the structure of the sink is absolutely fantastic," Emmett finished.

Brian, who was pretending to read his newspaper while Justin and Emmett went on and on about their perfect apartment, was fuming inside.

"We're going to have a house-warming party soon," Justin said, his eyes on Brian. "You guys should come."

Brian didn't bother looking up. "I'll probably be busy packing."

"I'll come," Michael answered. "I don't have anything better to do."

"Don't sound too excited for us," Emmett said sullenly.

Justin's stomach sank with disappointment. "Well, I gotta get going."

"Me too," Emmett said as he slid out of the booth after Justin. "We have to tell Mel and Linds the good news!"

Michael continued to dig into his pancakes. "Good for them," he muttered.

Brian finally looked up when Emmett and Justin walked away. 

"Hey," Michael muttered before cupping a hand around Brian's cheek and pressing their foreheads together. He leaned in and kissed Brian softly on the lips.

Meanwhile, Ben walked into the diner just then, intent on speaking to Michael, but froze in his step and watched as Brian and Michael kissed. Michael then pulled away and smiled, looking anything but miserable. Without making his presence known, he turned around and left.

 

\---

 

Alone in his apartment, Ted stared blankly at the television.

The ringing phone beside him caused him to jump slightly. With a heavy sigh, he reached over and picked it up. "Hello? Ted Schmidt's House of Plain," he said sarcastically into the phone.

"Hey, Teddy."

Ted sat upright at the sound of Emmett's voice. "Emmett."

"Haven't talked to you in a few days."

"Yeah," Ted began. "I've been kinda busy."

"Me too," Emmett answered, noticing how awkward he felt talking to Ted and hating it. "So, what have you been up to?"

"Oh, you know. The usual," Ted answered. "Opera music and the occassional cup of coffee." He purposely left out the part about Blake.

"Sounds intriquing," Emmett answered, throwing them into awkward laughter.

"So, Em," Ted began. "What have you been doing?" 

"I've, uh, been staying with Mel and Linds still. Justin has too. He, uh, got into a fight with Brian and we've both been sleeping on the floor."

"Oh," Ted said, hating the fact that Emmett wasn't home with him.

"Yeah, in fact ... Justin and I are getting an apartment together."

Ted's heart sank at the news. He closed his eyes and sat back against the couch. For some reason, he had expected Emmett to move back in with him. 

"It's not very far from you, or Babylon, and it's fantastic."

"That's ... great, Em," Ted said, trying to sound excited.

"We're going to have a house-warming party soon. I want you to be there."

"I ... wouldn't want to be anywhere else," Ted answered in a soft voice. "Listen, Em. Can I call you back? I have a pot roast in the oven that I need to check on."

"Okay. Bye, Teddy," Emmett said, wanting to say so much more, but refraining.

"Bye, Em," Ted said before hanging up. He laid down on the couch and held back tears. 

 

\----

 

Without bothering to knock, Justin slid the door to the loft open and then pulled it closed behind him. He looked around the almost empty space, not seeing Brian.

"Brian!" he called out.

Out of the shadows, Brian stepped forward, wearing nothing but a pair of blue jeans and a bottle in his hand. "You're wet," was all he said, his speech slurred.

"It's pouring outside," Justin answered. His orange tee shirt was plastered to his wet skin and beads of water ran down his face, tickling his skin.

"What are you doing here?" Brian asked.

"I was walking and it started to pour, so I came here."

Brian huffed before plopping down in a chair. "Where's Emmett? Shouldn't he be keeping you dry?"

Justin frowned as Brian downed some more of the liqour. "What are you most upset about, Brian? That I'm going to be living with another man, or because I obviously don't need you? That I can make it by myself? That you can move to fucking New York City, screw as many guys as you want, and I'm going to be okay?"

Brian pulled the bottle away from his mouth and eyed the younger man. "You think I give a shit?" he asked finally. "You and Emmett can live together and play house, or whatever the fuck you two are planning on doing, and I won't care. I'll be somewhere else, with someone else, and I probably won't even think about you, let alone care."

The comments stung, but he wouldn't show it. "You know, I don't even know why I came over here," Justin replied. "I thought I could come over and we could talk about things-"

"What things?" Brian asked sarcastically. "Thought maybe I'd take you back? Ask you to move to New York with me?"

"Oh, come on, Brian!" Justin yelled. "I may be blonde, but I'm not fucking stupid. I know you're above any of that, so why would I expect? Before, I expected it, but I know you don't care about anyone but your-fucking-self."

"Good. Then we're on the same page," Brian muttered. "So what's there to talk about, Justin?"

Justin just stared at him, a million emotions rushing through him. "I guess there's nothing left here then, huh?" he asked, his voice quivering. "You can't even promise a letter or two, can you? That, no matter what, I'll still be a part of your life. You're above that too?"

"Fine. You want letters," Brian asked. "I'll send you letters telling you all about the tight, sweet asses I fuck in New York."

Without another word, Justin turned to leave. Before he could, he felt a strong hand on his arm and he was turned around. His wet tee shirt slid against Brian's chest. His eyes flew up and met Brian's. "What are you doing?" he asked, his voice a mere whisper.

Instead of answering, Brian dug a hand in Justin's wet hair and tugged lightly. He then leaned down and caught Justin's bottom lip between his teeth. He kissed him sweetly and then pulled away. "Letting you go," he answered after a long pause.

Justin watched, dumbfounded, as Brian pulled away and stumbled towards his bedroom. 

"Make sure the door is shut when you leave," Brian said before plopping onto his bed face-first.

Justin swallowed back a lump in his throat and numbly began walking backwards. Finally, he turned, opened the door and left, making sure the door was closed behind him. He didn't cry until he was halfway down the steps.

Meanwhile, Brian laid in bed, staring blankly at nothing and feeling even more emptier than his bottle was.

 

\----

 

After contemplating it for ten minutes, Ted finally picked up the phone and dialed the familiar number. After a few rings, Blake picked up.

"Hello?"

"Blake? It's me, Ted."

"Ted? Hey!" Blake answered, not expecting Ted to call after what had happened the other day. "How are you?"

"Good," Ted lied. "Um, look, I was wondering if you wanted to ... get some dinner with me tomorrow. At the diner."

Blake was silent for a few moments before saying, "I'd like that."

Ted smiled faintly, knowing he was using Blake just a little. The thought of Emmett moving on with his life was killing him and he was just giving himself a little push. "Okay. I'll see you tomorrow night ... around seven?"

\----

 

Justin entered the dark house with the key Mel and Linds had given him and shut the door softly behind him, not wanting to wake anyone up. Mindlessly, he walked into the dimly lit living room and was surprised to see Emmett curled up on the couch, reading a book.

"Hey," he muttered.

Emmett, who had been silently worried about Justin, looked up. "Oh, my God!" he exclaimed after seeing Justin's tear-streaked face. He jumped up and rushed to the younger man. "What happened?"

"Nothing," Justin muttered. He then sighed and covered his face with his hand and began crying again.

Emmett pulled Justin into his arms and hugged him tightly. "Don't cry over him," he whispered into Justin's hair. 

Justin didn't say anything. He just cried against Emmett's purple, terry-clothed robe and took comfort in the other man's arms.


	5. Disconnected

A few days later, the small apartment seemed even smaller now as twenty-or-so people milled around. The house-warming party that Emmett had organized, complete with party hats and streamers, was in full swing. 

"Can you believe it?" Emmett asked Justin as the two stood in the corner of the room, watching their friends ew-and-ah over their new home. 

"It's our apartment," Justin answered. "Our furnitureless apartment."

Emmett smacked him on the arm dramatically. "We'll get furniture." He then looked around. "Though none of the gifts anyone brought look big enough to be a couch."

Justin smiled inspite of himself. Though he didn't want to admit it, he was having a good time. "Hey," he said, "there's Michael and Hunter." He pointed to the two new arrivals and Emmett went bouncing to greet his new guests.

"Can you believe it!" Daphne asked as she came over, drink in hand and her eyes wide. "You finally have your own apartment. Emmett's going to make a great roommate. He's such a doll."

"Yeah, he is," Justin answered.

Daphne sighed, knowing the cause of Justin's recent bad mood. "Please don't tell me you're thinking about Brian again?"

"Who?" Justin asked as he took a sip of his own drink. 

"Dork," Daphne retorted before Michael, Hunter and Emmett joined them.

"Look, Justin, Michael and Hunter brought us a git," Emmett said with a grin.

"Yeah, you better like it," Hunter spat. "Michael made me dish out twenty bucks for it."

Justin took the small gift. "Maybe it's that big screen TV you were hoping someone would buy for us, Em," he teased. He opened the package to find a small, elephant statue. "Great. Now we have two beds, a microwave and an elephant statue. Our home is almost complete."

Emmett threw an arm around Michael's shoulders and pressed a kiss to his temple, stopping the crude remark he knew was about to roll off of Michael's tongue. "We love it. Thank you."

"You're welcome," Michael said flatly, his eyes fixed coldly on Justin.

"Don't mind him," Hunter said. "Ever since Ben left, Michael's been a cranky shit."

"Fuck off," Michael retorted.

"Now now, boys," Emmett said nervously, "no yelling at our party."

Just then, Debbie and Vic came walking over. Debbie, who was grinning widely, threw her arms around Justin's neck. "Hey, Sunshine. I'm so proud of you!"

Justin laughed as he hugged her back. "You're just relieved that I won't be shacking up with you anymore."

Debbie pulled away, her face serious. "Don't talk like that, Justin! You're always welcome in my home, no matter what."

Behind her, Michael rolled his eyes. He was then tugged to the side by Emmett. "What are you doing?" he asked.

Emmett grinned. He turned the lower half of his body to the side and clasped his hands together. "I just wanted to let you know that I have a surprise for you," he said in a singsong voice.

"What kind of surprise?" Michael questioned. 

"You'll see," Emmett teased before dancing around him to go greet some new arrivals.

 

\---

 

Later that evening, after all the gifts were opened (all of which were small to medium knickknacks and none of which were a couch), the party began mellowing out as everyone danced to the provided music in the middle of the bare living room.

Michael, who was on his fourth beer, was in the middle of it all, pretending to know how to dance.

"I feel sorry for him," Justin said as he, Emmett and Daphne watched him.

"Well, he is losing the love of his life and his best friend."

"And Ben," Justin muttered.

"Come on," Daphne said, "do you really think Michael's in love with Brian?"

"Is the sky blue?" Emmett asked. "I feel bad for him too. He's in love with Brian and ... he knows Brian's in love with someone else." He turned his stare to Justin and they locked eyes.

"I'm going to get another drink," Justin muttered before brushing past Emmett and heading towards the makeshift food table.

Emmett watched after him before turning his eyes to Daphne. "It's kinda like a queer soap opera, isn't it?"

Daphne just giggled. "Hey, isn't that Ted?" she then asked, pointing across the room.

Emmett turned around, his heart skipping a beat at the mention of his friend's name. When he saw Blake with him, however, his heart sank. 

Justin grabbed his drink and then turned around, immediately spotting Ted and Blake at the door, holding hands. "What is he doing?" he asked under his breath. He fixed his gaze over on Emmett and noticed that his friend's good mood was deteriorated.

 

\---

 

"I don't know about this," Blake whispered to Ted, noticing how everyone was watching them, some more discretely than others.

Ted squeezed his hand, his own nerves in knots. He was beginning to think it had been a bad idea to invite Blake to come with him. "No, it's okay," he whispered back. "We're together and everyone is just going to have to accept it."

Blake looked at Ted and smiled faintly. 

Ted looked away from Blake and scanned the crowd. Melanie and Lindsay were in one corner, talking to Deb, Vic and some man he didn't recognize. Justin was standing at the food table, watching him with a frown. He spotted Michael and Hunter standing by a window, arguing about something. Finally, he spotted Emmett across the room, watching him.

Blake noticed who Ted was looking at and shifted uncomfortably. "Maybe you should go talk to him," he said, knowing about Ted and Emmett's romantic relationship.

"If he wants to talk, he'll come to me," Ted said. "Come on, you want something to drink?"

"Yeah," Blake answered and then followed Ted to the food table.

"Hey, Justin," Ted said to the young blonde without looking at him as he poured a drink.

"Hey, Ted," Justin answered slowly. He looked at Blake and nodded curtly before looking back at Ted. "Can I talk to you for a minute?"

Ted finally looked at him. "Sure," he answered reluctantly. He then turned to Blake. "Can you give us a minute?"

"Sure," Blake said before leaning in and pecking Ted lightly on the lips. 

When they were alone, Justin looked at Ted with a frown. "What are you doing?"

"I was invited."

"He wasn't," Justin said.

"It said to bring a guest."

"But ... why would you bring Blake of all people? Especially after ... "

"I don't think it's any of your business, Justin," Ted replied flatly. "You don't know me. You barely know Emmett." 

"I know how he feels about you ... and about Blake. How could you do this to him?" Justin asked, anger dripping from his voice. "He loves you."

Ted looked away. "Emmett and I are friends. We're starting over that way. If he wants to start things off right, he'll accept Blake." He then looked back up. "Emmett's the one who wanted it this way."

Justin just eyed him coldly before brushing past him.

Ted stared at nothing in particular, feeling bad for saying the things he had said to Justin. 

"Hey, what was that all about?" Blake asked as he came walking back over, occassionaly throwing a look after Justin.

"Nothing," Ted answered. "Here," he said, handing Blake his drink.

 

\---

 

Brian continued to ride his orgasm out. When he was finished, he pulled out of the trick's ass with a satisfying pop and rolled onto his back.

His trick, whose name he had forgotten just moments after picking him up, propped himself up on an elbow and stared down at Brian's face with a smile. "That was amazing."

Brian looked at him. "I should start charging." He sat up and then stood up, not bothering to put his jeans back on. He could feel the trick eyeing his ass. "You can go now," he said as he reached the fridge and began searching the contents.

Even though he was disappointed, the trick sat up and began putting his clothes back on. He then eyed the practically empty loft, save for some boxes. "You moving?"

Brian looked back at him. "To New York."

The trick nodded. He then stood up to pull on his pants. "Nice. Your boyfriend going with you?"

Brian frowned. "What?"

"Your boyfriend," the trick elaborated. "You know, the adorable blond you're always with."

"He's not my boyfriend," Brian said flatly. 

"Oh. Well, everyone just kinda figured he was."

"Besides, it's not any fucking business of yours," Brian spat. He picked up the trick's discarded shirt and threw it at him. "Don't let the fucking door hit you in the ass on the way out."

The trick shot him a look before leaving.

Brian hung his head and rubbed at his eyes. He then gave up his endless search of the fridge and angrily slammed the door shut. He then walked over to the answering machine and pressed play.

"Brian, pick up," Michael pleaded. "Well, I guess you're busy fucking. I just wanted to know if you were going to Justin and Emmett's house-warming party tonight."

Brian pressed erase.

 

\----

 

After realizing Emmett wasn't in the living room, Justin went searching. He found the other man in one of the empty bedrooms, sitting on the bed with his head in his hands. It was unusual for him to see Emmett so down. He watched him for a few moments before speaking, "I'm sorry."

Emmett looked up and then shrugged a shoulder. He forced a fake smile. "I've seen worse days. I would go into a 'back in Hazelhurst story', but I'm sure you've already heard them all."

Justin sighed before walking over and sitting next to him on the bed. "I know how it feels to see someone you love with someone else."

Emmett looked at Justin breifly before looking away. He was a little uncomfortable at having the younger man seeing him this way. "I actually thought that things were going to get better, you know?"

"They will."

"I thought we could go back to being Ted and Emmett ... best friends forever," Emmett said.

Justin just reached over and laid a comforting hand on his friend's knee.

"I mean ... when did he get back with Blake? Why did he bring him here? Is he purposely trying to hurt me? Or has it been Blake all along? Was I just a replacement until one day he and Blake would get back together?" Emmett asked, his voice wavering.

Justin wrapped an arm around Emmett's shoulders. "I don't know," he muttered. "I don't know a lot of things anymore."

Emmett rested his head against Justin's shoulder and closed his eyes. "I really loved him, you know. When we first started dating, I didn't think it would work out. I mean, he was Teddy ... my best friend. But I fell so hard for him and now look where I am. No best friend, no boyfriend." He paused. "Where did I go wrong?" He began crying. "Was there something I could have said or done? Maybe if I would have just put my anger aside when he got out, we would be together now."

"There's nothing you could have done," Justin answered. "I learned that the hard way. There's nothing you can do. It's all up to him now."

Emmett pulled away from Justin and wiped at his face. "God, some times I think I really am a woman trapped in a man's body."

"I've never doubted it."

They both laughed despite the somber mood. 

Emmett looked at Justin. "We're going to make great roommates, aren't we? I mean, because of this. We can talk to each other and we understand each other."

"I've had my doubts but," Justin began, "I think we're going to be okay." He rested a hand over Emmett's.

Emmett turned his hand and locked his fingers through Justin's. "Me too." He leaned forward and pecked Justin breifly on the lips; a silent thank you.

Justin smiled when Emmett pulled away and squeezed his hand; a silent understanding.

 

\---

 

Michael, who was in an even worse mood than when he had arrived at the party, stood off to the side and begrudgedly watched as everyone else had a great time. He grunted to himself and shook his head. Hunter, who had been his only company for the past half hour, was now talking to one of Justin's friends, trying to hit on him but it didn't look as if it were working.

"Ass," he muttered. He then watched as Justin and Emmett came walking out of one of the bedrooms. He arched an interested eyebrow. 

"Hey."

Michael turned around and, for the first time in days, was faced with Ben. "Ben! What are you doing here?"

"Emmett invited me," Ben answered simply. He then looked away. "It's a pretty nice place, isn't it?"

"Where have you been! Why haven't you answered my calls!" Michael asked. "I've been worried sick about you! Why haven't you come home!"

Ben looked at him. "Because, Michael. We're over," he said simply.

Michael's face fell. "What do you mean?"

"We're over."

"Just like that?"

"Just like that," Ben answered softly.

"After all we've been through?" Michael asked, his voice softer. "You're just going to decide that it's over?"

"No, Michael," Ben replied, "you decided it was over. You pushed me over the edge."

Michael frowned. "What are you talking about?"

"In a way, I think you wanted it to be over."

"No, Ben, I love you," Michael retorted. "Why would I want us to be over? I want us to work this out!"

Ben looked down at his feet. Coming to the party had proven harder than he had thought. "Just answer me one thing, Michael." He looked back up and stared into Michael's eyes. "If it came down to a choice, me or Brian, who would you pick?"

"Ben."

"I'm serious here, Michael. Who? Because, right now, I'm giving you a choice."

"This isn't fair, Ben," Michael spat. 

"What's not fair is me loving you with every cell in my body and you not loving me back the same way," Ben replied. "I can't keep doing this, Michael. I can't keep giving myself fully to you only to have you give yourself to Brian. So, I want you to make a choice. Tonight." 

"I ... I don't know!" Michael exclaimed.

"Yes, you do," Ben replied. He reached a hand up and cupped it around Michael's face. "You'd pick him." He held back his emotions. He had cried too much in the past fews days. "If you loved me the way I love you, you wouldn't even have to think about it."

"Ben," Michael pleaded.

"I never had a chance, did I?" Ben asked, his eyes clouding over with unshed tears.

"Ben," Michael pleaded, "don't do this. Please!"

"Surprise!" Emmett said as he came walking over, a grin on his face. "Are you surprised, Michael?" he asked. "It's Ben!" When Michael finally looked at him, Emmett's smile faded.

"Yeah," Michael said flatly before looking back at Ben. "Extremely surprised." Without waiting for an answer, he turned around and walked away.

Emmett looked at Ben with a frown. "What did you say to him?"

"Look, Emmett. Thanks for inviting me, but I have to run," Ben said slowly. "Here's your gift," he said, handing Emmett the purple, sparkly present. "It's a coffeemaker."

"But ... you just got here," Emmett pouted. "You can't leave!"

"There's nothing here for me anymore," Ben said solemnly. He then placed a hand on Emmett's shoulder. "Take care."

Emmett watched as Ben turned and snaked his way through the crowd before leaving. So far, his party was turning out to be a bust.

\----

 

"Can you believe him?" Justin asked as Michael came over to him. "Bringing Blake to the party. Who the hell does he think he is."

Michael just gave Justin a look. "Guys are assholes," he spat, the alcohol clouding his senses. He still couldn't wrap his mind around what had just happened. 

Justin looked at Michael with an arched eyebrow. "I know it's not any of my business, and you'll probably tell me to fuck off, but I saw you talking to Ben." Just as he thought, Michael shot him a dirty look. "How did it go?"

"He hates me," Michael admitted after a long pause. "He told me it's over. That I continuously choose Brian over him." He looked at Justin. "You don't think I always choose Brian over him, do you?"

"Well," Justin began, "yeah."

Michael scoffed. "Who the fuck asked you anyway!" He walked away, mumbling under his breath.

"I never thought I'd wish for a party to end," Emmett said as he came walking over. 

"I don't think it can get much worse," Justin admitted as he sipped at his drink. Just then, a loud commotion came from across the room.

"Oh, my God," Emmett breathed.

Justin finally realized what was going on and the soda that was in his mouth came gushing out in a misty spray. 

Arriving at the party was Brian Kinney. Behind him, two unrecognizable men came in, carrying Brian's couch on a dolly. "You fucking call this a party?" he asked.

Some people laughed, others sneered. Emmett and Justin looked on, amazed and confused. 

 

\---

 

"You came," Michael said when he finally had Brian cornered. 

"I did," Brian answered.

"But ... why? And why with your couch?"

"I didn't have anything better to do ... and it's my house-warming gift," Brian answered, a little high from some scat he had snorted on the way over. "Are you drunk?" 

Michael just laughed loudly. "I feel great!"

"I can tell."

"What are you doing here?" Emmett asked as he came sashaying over, Justin close behind.

"Michael invited me," Brian answered. He then looked over Emmett's shoulder at the two men. "Just put the couch over against that wall," he instructed. 

"What is this, Brian?" Justin asked. 

Brian finally looked at Justin. "I'm giving you my couch, I heard you two were in need of one. Besides, when I'm in New York, I'll be able to afford a better one."

Emmett, who was excited, went to go inspect the couch. Michael laughed in drunken amusement and stared at his best friend with adoring eyes. Brian and Justin continued to stare at each other, both understanding the couch as the truce that it was.

 

\---

 

"Nice couch."

Emmett looked up at Ted. "Thanks to Brian, Justin and I won't have to sit on crates to watch TV. Well, when we get a TV."

Ted laughed softly. 

"Where's Blake?" Emmett asked, throwing Ted off.

"He, um, went to the bathroom," Ted answered. "Look, Emmett-"

"Look, Teddy," Emmett said at the same time. "You go first."

Ted nodded and looked down at his feet. "I hope you don't mind my bringing Blake."

Emmett just eyed him. A part of him wanting to curse the other man for bringing him. Another part, the part that loved Ted as a best friend, wanted him to be happy. "I don't mind," he answered. "As long as you're happy."

Ted looked up. "Thanks," he said softly.

"So," Emmett began as he looked away, "when did you two get back together?"

"A few days ago," Ted answered. "He was actually a counselor at the place I was at."

"Oh," Emmett answered, "how nice."

"Emmett."

"Tell me something, Teddy," Emmett interrupted. "Was it always Blake? Was I just a replacement?"

"Emmett-"

"Because that's what it feels like," Emmett finished, his voice wavering.

"No, Emmett," Ted said softly. "You were never a replacement ... for anybody."

Emmett nodded, silently satisfied with the answer. He looked back down at his shoes. 

"Look, Em, if you don't want me around when I'm with him, I'll understand," Ted admitted. "I don't want you to be uncomfortable or-"

"Don't be silly, Teddy," Emmett replied. "I would never not want you around. No matter who you're with."

Ted opened his mouth to reply, but was interrupted as Blake came walking over.

"Hey," Blake said, his eyes on Emmett.

"Oh, look," Emmett said. "Melanie's waving me over. I'll talk to you guys later."

Ted looked down at the floor as Emmett brushed past them. He then looked at Blake and faked a smile. 

Blake smiled back. "You wanna get out of here? I'm kinda tired."

"Yeah," Ted answered. "Me too."

 

\---

 

Later that night, after half of the guests had gone home, Justin went to search for Brian and found him sitting on the small balcony outside of one of the bedrooms, smoking a joint. "Hey," he said.

Brian looked at him breifly before looking back out at the view of downtown Pittsburgh. "For a shack, it has a nice view."

Justin nodded before taking a seat next to Brian. They sat in silence for a long time. "Can I have a hit?" he asked.

"No," Brian said. "You're too young," he teased. He then handed the joint over to Justin and watched as the blonde took a tentative hit. He accepted it back. "Thanks."

Justin eyed him. "Michael's passed out on the couch," he said with a laugh. 

Brian laughed too as he took a puff.

"So, when are you leaving?"

"In about two weeks."

Justin's heart sank. "Is everything all set?"

"As set as they're going to be." Brian looked at Justin. 

Neither of them spoke for a long time, only listened to the sounds of the city below them. 

Finally, Brian said, "You were right."

Justin frowned.

Brian hesitated for a few moments before elaborating. "You're going to be okay without me. You always were okay without me."

Justin was taken aback by the confession. He looked away and eyed the lights of the city. "I will be okay," he softly. He then looked back at Brian. "But that doesn't mean that I'm not going to miss you like hell."

Brian didn't say anything at first, only handed the joint back to Justin. He watched as the younger man took a long drag before speaking. "I'm not promising anything, but ... I'll miss you too."

Justin looked at him, clearly surprised and touched by the confession.

"Maybe," Brian added jokingly before taking the joint back.


End file.
